


At the end of the hall

by Lastavica



Category: The Mentalist
Genre: Angst, Breathing, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Family, Family Feels, Fear, Feels, Flashbacks, Healing, Healing from trauma, Hope, Hurt/Comfort, Love, Married Couple, Memories, New Parents, Newborn Children, One Shot, Starting Over, Supportive Spouses, Trauma, Trust, painful memories
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-11
Updated: 2021-01-11
Packaged: 2021-03-15 21:21:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28570671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lastavica/pseuds/Lastavica
Summary: Jane experiences a painful flashback less than two weeks after Lisbon gives birth.
Relationships: Patrick Jane/Teresa Lisbon
Comments: 12
Kudos: 42





	At the end of the hall

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much to all of you who've been reading and giving love to these little Mentalist fics I've been sharing for the last few months. I appreciate it so much. I really love writing them and I really love Jane & Lisbon! Definitely been a happy place to escape to.

Patrick was a champ as a new dad. It wasn't his first time, but the first time felt like another lifetime ago. And, really, it was. With Teresa's whole life suddenly seeming to consist of nursing, eating and sleeping, any time he could take the baby and give her a break, he would. Completely smitten with his tiny new daughter, he would stay up bouncing her in his arms and pacing the house all night if needed. Basically, he wanted to hold her all the time. One afternoon, four days after Teresa gave birith, while she was finishing nursing the baby Patrick went and got a hot bath ready. When the thoroughly milk drunk infant was burped and asleep he took her from Teresa and directed his wife toward the bathroom. She teared up when she saw the steaming bubble bath complete with a few candles and he couldn't help grinning like a fool. He told her to get in before the kid woke up and shut the door. He chuckled to himself when he heard her laugh from the other side.

When Teresa wasn't nursing or napping, she was usually gazing in awe at their daughter. Or, she was watching Patrick gaze in awe at their daughter. This usually took place on the couch, or in their bed. Baby clothes and toys, diapers, wipes and blankets were scattered everywhere. Patrick stayed on top of the laundry and besides tea cups and coffee mugs, there weren't many dishes to take care of. They ate lot of take out as well as meals that Cho and Wiley had suprisingly organized for them with the rest of the office.

After about a week and a half of mostly sleepless nights, sudden naps, and shared joy, Teresa encouraged Patrick to get out to the cabin. He hadn't been there since just before her due date, unwilling to be caught off guard when she went into labor. He was more than happy to return to his haven in the country but leaving his girls for the first time proved a little difficult. By the time he reached the end of their street he was already missing his baby. But he went and of course felt renewed just by being there. He spent the day enjoying the natural setting and got some actual work done on the place. Patrick had a habit of sitting for far too long just looking around and dreaming silently. He lost a lot of daylight that way. Now that the baby had arrived, though, he felt more motivated than ever to make the place a finished home for his family.

He stayed until early evening. On the drive back Teresa called to let him know the she was going to try to sleep while the baby was. In other words, come in the house quietly. Since day two of new parent life together, Patrick had been referring to it as "sleep opportunism" and they both had gotten very good at it. To be fair, he'd been good at it as long as she'd known him.

The sun had set by the time he arrived back at the house. He went up the front walk wearing a big smile. It didn't matter that he'd been gone less than a day, he couldn't wait to be with his family again. Once inside he tossed his keys on the kitchen counter and headed toward the bedroom. He was looking forward to snuggling into bed beside his wife as he was a big fan of both hers and napping. The bathroom light was left on and he stopped to turn it off. Before flicking the switch he noted the plastic baby bath on the floor by the tub. His eyes crinkled in a smile, then he turned out the light and continued to the bedroom. A few more steps down the hall and he was at the door. He touched the knob and all at once something overtook him. It was like he suddenly froze in place. He stared, unable to break his gaze from the white door in front of him. His brow creased as if he were in physical pain. His breathing sped up and he tried to slow it, but his mind was racing too fast and his adrenaline had begun pumping. What felt like minutes passed before he finally managed to let go of the doorknob. He backed away, his hand shaking, and leaned against the wall. Putting two fingers to his neck, he checked his pulse. His heart was pounding. Again he tried to measure his breathing and slow it down. Having moderate success, he crouched down on the floor and held his head in his hands. All he could hear was his heart pounding in his ears as his thoughts caught up to his body's reaction. With renewed distress, he became consciously afraid. What was done to Angela and Charlotte would always be as clear in his mind as it was that night so many years ago. Even though he knew what was real in this moment, he still felt terrified.

"They're ok." He whispered to himself. "They're ok."

In and out he breathed as he squeezed his eyes shut, trying to will away the new terror and the old memory.

He didn't know how long he'd been like that when the bedroom door opened.

"Jane?" The concern was clear in her voice. Somewhere in his mind he felt bad about that. She knelt beside him. "Patrick, what happened?"

He lifted his head to meet her eyes. She could plainly see the fear on his face. Holding the baby on her shoulder with one arm, she placed her other hand on his cheek. "What happened?"

"I couldn't open the door." he said. His voice was so quiet. He took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. Flooded with fear, relief and shame, he closed his eyes again.

She immediately understood what had happened. Long before meeting Patrick Jane she knew all the details of the Red John case, including the tv psychic's original statement to the police. Some years later, when he had temporarily lost his memory, she watched him relive it. She would never forget that night.

"It's ok." She told him. "It's ok." Her thumb brushed back and forth on his cheek. "We're right here."

He shook his head, finally collapsed into a sitting position, and looked at her like he didn't know what to do.

Teresa acted instinctively, taking the baby off her shoulder and handing her to Patrick. Wordlessly he took his daughter and cradled her against his chest. Focusing on her, he continued taking slow even breaths. Teresa moved to sit beside him and rested her head against his shoulder. There was nothing she needed to say. This was enough. His child was in his arms and his wife was beside him. He knew what was real. He could feel it.

After a little while Patrick leaned down to kiss his daughter's forehead and then turned to kiss Teresa's.

"Thank you." He whispered and rested his cheek against her hair.

"Any time." was all she said.

They got up together and went to sit the couch. She held his hand and put on some random home and garden show. While she half watched it, Patrick matched his breathing to his daughter's. She was still asleep against his chest.

Eventually they turned off the tv and settled into bed for a night of interrupted sleep.

After that night Teresa never shut the bedroom door behind her unless her husband was in there with her.

The gesture did not go unnoticed, or unappreciated.


End file.
